letters // for when you feel you're not enough
I hear you.
I know what it's like to cyclically lick your wounds and then rip them open yourself with self-doubt, with lack, with shame, guilt.
These wounds -- they're human. And you, lovely soul, are capable of healing yourself.
In our lives, we try to feel how we want to feel and avoid feeling how we don't want to feel. The avoiding part is where it gets sticky. When we cut and run, the "not being enough" feeling can become more and more noticeable like a cowlick that even Aqua Net can't tame.
When we work towards accepting all of our feelings, even the shitty ones, not only are we one step closer to feeling how we want to feel, but it's an offering of self-love. This practice shows you how to accept when the tides of your emotions flood and draw up love in the process.
Be easy. A lack of self-love is the symptom. Presence, forgiveness, acceptance and more love are always the treatments.
the practice // the 10-second check-in + radical acceptance
Find yourself in a comfortable seat or lying flat. Get suuuuper comfy -- pillows, blankets, the works, if you'd like -- but know this can be done anytime in any place.
Take a few über deep breaths into your belly. Visualize the diaphragm contracting and shifting downward to draw air into your lungs.
Without judgement, run your mind's eye from head to hips, noticing what feels contracted or expanded along the way. Put it into a statement -- "I feel contraction/expansion in _____" -- or if that feels too specific, describe it using your own words -- "I feel like the world's biggest elephant is sitting on my chest."
head/neck/shoulders (upper body) :: anger, irritation
chest/throat/ribcage (middle torso) :: sadness, longing
belly/low back (lower torso) :: fear
Whatever you find, sit there with it for a moment. Without judgement, further analysis, doing, fixing, or planning. Give yourself permission to feel this feeling; know you're safe and supported.
Place your hand over your heart. Imagine an electric thread running from the center of your palm into your heart down through your body and into the earth beneath you. Repeat the mantras below.
I love you.
I forgive you.
I accept you.
I am listening.
I am equal.
p.s. If you feel resistance to or inauthenticity about the words "I love you" in relation to yourself, that's okay. Love yourself for not loving yourself fully just yet.